I often joke with my children that when they are adults and end up in therapy, it will not be because of anything I did. No, it will be because they did something stupid. I don’t say this from the premise that I am a perfect parent, I am far from it. But I am a good parent, and I can confidently say that because I am acutely aware of the battles my parents didn’t fight or win, battles that have set me back in life. Now, I am fighting to give my children a different story, a story that isn’t rooted in trauma.

Let me share a quick story about a man who was told that something bad would happen to his descendants because of his poor decision-making. He comforted himself with the fact that it wouldn’t happen in his lifetime, instead of doing something to change the course of his descendants’ future.

This is the story of King Hezekiah, and I fear that many of us are like him. Despite being warned of significant consequences, Hezekiah found some comfort in knowing that the repercussions wouldn’t affect him directly, but would instead fall on future generations. His focus was on the immediate future, and he desired to avoid personal discomfort even if it meant the suffering of the next generation.

This story comes from the Bible. King Hezekiah of Judah was visited by a delegation from Babylon. They brought gifts and inquired about his miraculous recovery after God healed him from a fatal illness. Overcome with pride, Hezekiah showed them all the treasures of his kingdom. However, the prophet Isaiah later confronted him and warned that because of his actions, the treasures of Judah would eventually be taken to Babylon. Worse, some of Hezekiah’s descendants would be captured and made eunuchs in the palace of the Babylonian king.

In response, Hezekiah acknowledged the prophecy and accepted the consequences. But he was somewhat appeased by the fact that this fate would not affect him personally. He said, “The word of the Lord you have spoken is good,” because he reasoned that the disaster would not come during his lifetime, but would befall the next generation.

How many of us are burdening the next generation because of our short-sightedness and selfishness? We refuse to fight for ourselves because we fail to see, or choose not to see the consequences of our actions. We claim to love our children, but we are physically and emotionally absent. We claim to love them, yet we are too distracted to see that they are struggling. We neglect them, are financially irresponsible, and burden them with our mistakes when they are adults. We fail to take care of our health, later burdening them with endless doctor’s visits. We don’t apologise when we fail, and we make them feel like they are the problem. We abuse them, throw money or gadgets at them instead of investing in their emotional well-being.

We choose not to get emotionally and mentally healthy. We drink too much. We abuse their other parent and expect them to believe in love. We no longer fight for family, only for what brings us individual joy. We no longer make sacrifices for a better world for our children.

But we claim to love them.

I fear that many of us are like Hezekiah we don’t care enough about the next generation.

Care for the next generation by dealing with your demons.